Hushed Page 11

  Within a few weeks, I spent so many nights with Seth that Olivia complained she never saw me anymore.

  "You can stay here, you know. Once in a while," she said.

  "No. This is a you and me place," I told her. "Zach has Alexis over all the time. And they each have their own bedroom and bathroom."

  But we spent a lot of time at my place, too.

  In the kitchen, Seth and I were more creative than the rest of the class combined. And so in tune that even Chef Steven noticed. He started calling us his MadSeth team, which he thought was a hysterically funny pun because it sounded like "mad chef."

  And, I thought, maybe he was right. This was mad.

  It was reckless and careless the way I carried on. We held hands and kissed in public in the SUB, at The College Grind, in the mall between classes. We couldn't keep our hands off each other.

  I spent night after night at his apartment. We were affectionate in Chef Steven's kitchen. In short, we were extremely public. But I was deliriously happy. So what did I care? Happier than I ever remembered being. Truly happy for the first time since Dad died. In a way where life seemed bright and bubbly again.

  Seth

  A few days before Valentine's Day I was walking to class when my phone rang. "Morgan? It's been a while."

  I was surprised Morgan hadn't been in touch before. She and I had been pretty tight at the Double Deltsie house. Her boyfriend Dakota was Zach's good friend from high school. He hung out with us at our place from time to time, but Morgan never came with him.

  "You could always stop by the house and say hi." She had a direct, sparkling way of speaking that sounded sexy and bitchy at the same time.

  I fired right back, "Your boyfriend hangs out at our place. You could always come by with him and see Zach and me, baby."

  She laughed. "Yeah, but Alexis is there most of the time, too, I hear."

  "She's your little. Are you afraid of her? I thought you two made up."

  Morgan sighed. "Oh, we have. But, you know, as her big I like to give her her space."

  "Intellectual alibis are shit, Morgs. Come over some time for my sake, then. I miss you."

  She laughed again, that effervescent, rich laugh that finally sounded happy. And sober. I was glad for her. Morgan could be a real bitch when she was drunk. Sober, she was pretty sweet.

  Morgan had been through a bunch of shit in the last few years. A year ago, if anyone had told me that dating Dakota Bradley would help her clean her act up, I would have told them they were full of crap. After I told them there was no way in hell she'd ever date him, period.

  Dakota was Zach's best friend from high school—and an arrogant frat boy, in my original opinion. After I moved in with Zach, I had to tolerate him. But as I got to know him, he was growing on me. And no one could deny he'd been good for Morgan.

  "What's up?" I asked.

  "Does something have to be up?" she said. "I can't just call?"

  I laughed now, too. "You can, but you seldom do."

  "Okay, you caught me. I just ran into someone by The College Grind who reminded me so much of you, I actually called out to him thinking he was you. You have a doppelgänger on campus, Seth! It wasn't until I got close that I realized my mistake. Anyway, seeing him reminded me how much I miss you. I just had to call and share. And catch up."

  "What? I have a twin." I frowned. I didn't know why I didn't find it amusing. It should have been. "And here I thought I was a unique, special snowflake."

  "Not a twin." She paused. "More like an older brother."

  I swore I heard confusion in her voice.

  "When I called your name out to him and he didn't answer, I caught up to him and grabbed his arm. He introduced himself. He's a prof!"

  "A prof? There has to be a way to use that to my advantage."

  "Shut up! You would think of that first." She giggled. "And not how embarrassing it was for me. Or it would have been, if he hadn't been so damn gracious and charming. Like you, Seth. He even has your single dimple."

  I smiled at her flattery. Morgan and I had always flirted with each other. But it didn't mean anything. "And you see, that's why Dakota doesn't like me. Because his girl thinks I'm charming."

  "He likes you just fine. Now that you aren't a houseboy."

  "You wound me, baby. Being a houseboy is honest work."

  "Sometimes," she said.

  Yeah, we'd pulled a few stunts. "Does this prof have a name?"

  "Oh, crap." she said. "He told me. But I'm spacing on it now. I'll think of it. Eventually."

  Chapter 11

  Maddie

  I was studying at my kitchen table when my mom called.

  "You must be busy!" she said in falsely cheerful voice. "You haven't called in a while."

  I felt a stab of guilt. I'd been avoiding talking to her. Because of Seth.

  "Well, you know, it's my killer junior year. You've warned me since I was in high school that this is the worst year of college. That the professors are determined to make your life hell, flunk you out, and guarantee you don't get more than four hours of sleep a night. Looks like your dire predictions are pretty much coming true. All I do is study." I laughed, but it came out nervously. I crossed my fingers, hoping she didn't notice.

  "Did I say that?" She laughed again because she knew she had. "I thought maybe there was a boy involved in your neglect of your mother."

  Oh, crap! I hoped Ian hadn't said anything to her.

  "Any plans for Valentine's Day?"

  "Stop prying, Mom," I said with as much good humor as I could manage. But as I'd learned from reading a ton of spy novels in high school, when lying, it's always best to lead with as much of the truth as possible. "But I do have a date with my cooking lab partner."

  Mom perked up. "Really?"

  I knew immediately I'd made a mistake. Ian hadn't told her a thing. She'd been fishing and I'd just swum into her net.

  "It's nothing serious, Mom. Just a date."

  "Hmmph," she said. "Still, it sounds promising. Is he handsome?"

  "Very."

  "Always a plus," Mom said. "And I suppose he has a name?"

  "Seth, Mom. And that's as much intel as you're getting out of me. Don't make too much of this."

  She laughed again. "Sorry. Hey, I'm actually calling about spring break. It's only a month away. There's a big annual bridal show I'd like us to go to. And I thought I'd set up some dress-shopping appointments while you're home. Wouldn't that be fun?"

  My heart lurched. "You've set a date?"

  "More like a season. We've decided on a summer wedding. Next year, after you graduate. Then we'll both officially be empty-nesters. Footloose and fancy free."

  I was her reason for waiting? I really didn't understand it. Deep down, I felt she was stalling.

  "You didn't have any big plans for spring break, did you?"

  "No," I said, slowly. I wasn't the party-like-crazy type of spring break girl.

  "Good! Then it's settled. I'll buy the bridal fair tickets."

  "Mom? Did you ever date a frat guy?" The question popped out of my mouth before I even thought.

  Seth's dad had been in a frat. My dad hadn't. If Mom had never dated a frat guy, problem solved. So simple, right? In retrospect, the question was brilliant.

  "Oh, boy!" She sounded wary. "This Valentine's date of yours isn't a frat boy, is he?"

  Like a lot of independents, Mom had never liked the Greeks. But then, both she and I were introverts. Introverts didn't really thrive in the extroverted Greek system.

  "No."

  She let out a sigh of relief. "Then why the question?"

  "No reason. Just wondering about your college experience. You never talk about it."

  "There's not much to tell," she said.

  I persisted. "So? Frat boys?"

  "No."

  I should have been satisfied. Totally relieved. Except that…she had hesitated before answering. And her voice had been soft and unsure. Like she was lying and felt guilt
y about it.

  On Valentine's Day, Seth sent me a red rose in class. One of the clubs on campus sold and delivered them as a fundraiser. It came complete with a chocolate heart. If that had been the only rose he sent me, I would have been happy. But that night, he showed up with another dozen.

  "That makes thirteen," I teased him. "Isn't that unlucky?"

  I was feeling superstitious. Things had been going too well.

  "A baker's dozen unlucky? In what universe?" He pulled me into his arms and kissed me.

  He was confident that way. He liked to laugh in the face of fate. But he didn't know what I knew. If he had known, would he have been so glib?

  I didn't like to think about it. Was I keeping a secret from him? Or just keeping my unfounded suspicions to myself? I liked to think the latter.

  He took me to a little Mexican restaurant for dinner. Then out for red drinks at a local bar. He seemed nervous, like there was something on his mind. Half a dozen times he started to ask me something, then stopped himself short.

  He had something important on his mind. A surprise, maybe? The evening had already been perfect. But I was greedy, and more was always better.

  Midway through my second cherry martini, he took my hand and looked into my eyes.

  I saw myself mirrored there, holding my breath as if I was waiting for a proposal. But it was way too soon for that. Even so, I couldn't breathe.

  "What are you doing for spring break?" His eyes were serious, and he seemed more nervous than I'd ever seen him.

  I spoke without thinking, or paying attention to the signals he'd been giving me all night. "Going to a bridal fair with my mom. This is one of the big bridal shows. One of the best. It's held, like, twice a year, and she's dying for me to go with her. Doing some wedding dress shopping. She absolutely insisted I come home for it. She has this romantic notion of picking out her dress with her daughter. And I'm probably checking in on my internship—"

  His face fell. His grip loosened on my hand.

  Which is when I realized this was the big question. The surprise. And I'd just trampled all over it.

  "But that won't take the whole week?" He looked hopeful again.

  I tilted my head. "No. Why?"

  He broke into the most adorable, wobbly, hopeful grin. "Come home with me. For as many days as you can spare. I want you to meet my dad."

  I swore his voice shook.

  My hands certainly did. And my mouth went dry. "I…I…"

  I didn't know what to say. We'd just cruised past the one-month mark. Zach's warnings about Seth rang in my ears. How he bailed on relationships at the one or two-month mark. This was Seth's statement of commitment.

  I wanted to go. And at the same time, I wasn't ready to meet his dad. Not for the usual reasons. I wasn't ready for what I might find out.

  Seth stared at me, waiting expectantly for an answer. My hesitation was hurting his feelings. I was trapped and I knew it.

  I forced a smile and put a falsely bright note in my voice. "Yes!"

  He pulled me into a kiss. "You had me worried for a minute. Zach warned you that I'm not the committed type. But he should have warned me about you. I've met my match." He squeezed my hand.

  "Meeting your dad is a big step." My voice trembled.

  "Yeah." His eyes sparkled. "It is." He paused. "I've never taken a girl home to meet Dad before." He grinned. "I'm scaring you! Don't worry. Dad will love you." He swept a lock of hair out of my face and touched my cheek. "Just like I do. I love you, Maddie."

  He'd never said I love you before. Some people were casual about it, throwing the phrase around lightly. But not me. Not us.

  My eyes filled with tears of joy. "I love you, too."

  I'd been trying to fight it. But sometimes you can't fight destiny. What were we going to do?

  The Friday night a week before spring break, the food science club sponsored a pub crawl. Complete with T-shirts. Of course, I invited Seth. Zach came along. Alexis wasn't twenty-one yet, and the club was strict about that, no fake IDs allowed, so Zach came solo.

  A pub crawl was our version of a frat party. We wore T-shirts made specially for the event and went from bar to bar drinking. Only we called it tasting. Like it was part of our food sensory class. Our ale sensory unit. Being food nerds, we also talked about the brewing process and the flavors of the beer and ales. Showing off our knowledge. Half the guys in food science brewed beer in their bathtubs. I was surprised Zach and Seth hadn't tried it yet.

  We were a largish group, about thirty of us. The night was pleasant for early March. We walked between bars. When we invaded some of the smaller ones, we practically took them over. By the time we got to The Night Crawler, I was feeling a pleasant buzz.

  In the spirit of crawling, I crawled into Seth's lap at the table we commandeered and looped my arms around his neck. I kissed him, fully, tasting the beer on his lips, pressing against him. He was so hot when he was buzzed, too, and his hands roamed all over me. And the bulge in his jeans rubbed against me. I was ready to go back to his place.

  "One more round," he whispered directly in my ear. "And we're out of here."

  We ordered a sampler platter of regional ales.

  As a group, we were loud and laughing. Yelling over the music as we pounded down shots of ales ranging from light to dark and full.

  Seth nuzzled my neck. Life seemed perfect until the door opened and let a cold breeze in. An ill wind that blew my brother in. Ian stood at the door with a group of profs and students, looking for a table.

  Noooo! No, no, no, no!

  I froze. And watched in horror as he scanned the room. My heart stopped while his gaze skimmed over us. Fortunately, Ian had elements of an absentminded professor. When he focused on something, he ignored everything else. He missed us and waved to some guys at a table in the corner. I had to do something. But what?

  My skin prickled. It was like I was in a science fiction movie. The kind where someone travels back in time to an earlier part of their life. But if they run into their younger self something horrible happens in the time/space continuum and it's death for everyone.

  I had that same feeling now. I couldn't let Ian run into Seth. But he was blocking the door and our table was in the path to both the bar and that corner table he was focused on.

  Ian started walking our way. I grabbed Seth's face and kissed him. Fiercely, blocking his face with mine, with one eye open, watching my brother and his group as they walked by. Necking, the new way to become invisible.

  I released Seth when Ian was comfortably settled at the bar with his back to us.

  Seth's eyes were round with desire. "Don't stop now." He tried to find my lips again.

  I dodged him, reached into my purse, and threw a twenty on the table. "We have to go." I caressed Seth's cheek and put all the come-on I could manage in my eyes and voice.

  "Now?" His eyes sparkled wickedly.

  I leaned in and whispered, "Yes, now. I need you. Urgently."

  "Urgently?" He got a sexy grin on his face.

  This wasn't a slow seduction. This was an emergency situation.

  "That's what I said. This is a need emergency."

  His coat was slung over the back of his chair. I pulled his beanie from his coat pocket and tucked it on his head, covering that crown of blond hair so like my brother's.

  I slid off his lap and grabbed his hand. "Let's go."

  A couple of the guys we were with made lewd remarks and whistled.

  "If I were you, man, I wouldn't hesitate." One of them winked and punched Seth in the arm.

  What I wouldn't put up with!

  As Seth stood, I took his hand. He slid it free from mine. "Don't lose the mood. I'll be right back. I have to take a leak."

  Stupid, stupid beer! What could I say to that? Like, no, no bathroom for you! Hold it. You absolutely have to dance all the way back to your place?

  He brushed my lips with a kiss and sauntered off, passing just to Ian's left to the small hallway that
led to the men's room as I held my breath.

  "Hey, Maddie, chill!" one of our group said. "He'll be right back."

  But Zach, who knew me best, stared at me. "Are you okay, Maddie? You look like you've seen a ghost."

  More like a shadow. "I'm fine. Drank a little too much too fast."

  One of the other guys slid his chair away from mine. "If you're gonna puke, don't do it on my shoes."

  I frowned at him and tried to mask the horror and relief I felt.

  Before I could fall into my seat and cover my face or use one of the guys as a human shield from my brother, Ian turned around, laughing. A group of girls who had been inadvertently running interference between me and my brother and blocking his line of sight moved toward the bathrooms. Leaving Ian a wide-open view of me. There I was, standing out.

  Oh, no! He's going to come over here!

  I was suddenly stone-cold sober. I had to cut him off at the pass. All right, this wasn't a Western bar, but terminology aside, the idea was the same. I had to stop him from coming to our table. If my friends and classmates met him, they'd see the resemblance between Seth and him. How could they not?

  And then they'd comment on it. I would never hear the end of it. They would insist on the two of them meeting. And highlight the similarity with way too many drunken jokes. And even if I managed to get him away from the table before Seth got back, Seth would be furious with me if he knew my brother was in the pub and I purposefully didn't introduce him.

  I acted on instinct. I was at the bar in as few steps as I could manage. I gave my brother a bear hug that made him go "umphh" with the force of it. I neatly spun him back around to face the bar before any of my companions got a look at him. And took up a spot on his right so I could watch for Seth.

  My fellow pub crawlers were drinking their ales now, totally preoccupied and getting hammered by the minute. One tragedy averted.

  Ian held me at arm's length. "What are you doing here?"

  "Pub crawl."

  He glanced at my T-shirt and nodded. "Is that what you foodies call it?" He laughed. "We call it Friday night fluids lab."

  He still had his coat on, but it was unzipped so I could see his plain shirt.